


Endless Existence

by Ulreksivaas



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Elder Scrolls
Genre: Anorexia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Flashbacks, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Heavy Angst, Kidnapping, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, References to Drugs, Rehabilitation, Saving the World, Substance Abuse, Triggers, kick ass powers that don't make sense, like particle control n shit, main character really hates solas, more than once, possible future smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:57:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ulreksivaas/pseuds/Ulreksivaas
Summary: "There was a story I heard about.. something like 'Two wolves are fighting inside of you'... some shit like that. Can't remember how it fuckin' ends. All I can think about is how this will end."The half smoked cigarette was dangling loosely from her flawed fingers, getting ashed onto the ground every so often. She had seen many endings, and honestly, she didn't know how this was going to end.





	Endless Existence

_"Her heart is beating so slow, sir. Are you sure she'll make it?"_

_Voices could be made out in the area surrounding her, but she was too fucked up on whatever they were giving her to make any sense of it._

_"Yes. If my theory is right, she will be able to have total control over her brain functions. I am sure of this one. X will not be like those before her... her will to survive is strong."_

The next thing 'TS-X' (Test Subject 10) consciously remembered doing was waking up in a tube full of some sort of liquid. She could make out figures of men and women dressed in white all around her. You see, X was previously known was Elizabeth. Elizabeth tried to live a normal life. She had ups and downs, highs and lows. A low being her ongoing battle with anorexia and a high being literally high. It wasn't long after she graduated that her family admitted her into an 'inpatient care'. This was no inpatient care, and it seemed her family quite literally sold her out for tons of money. 

Her sensitive eyes hurt no longer at the strange liquid surrounding them, in fact she felt clean. What were they doing to her? X could barely move but she noticed a white figure come close to her tube with an object in their hand. The next thing she knew was darkness, for they had put more anesthesia into her system.

\- POV Change -

Fuck, all I had wanted was to fucking get better. Ever since I had developed that fucking eating disorder, the nicotine addiction, and my affinity for pot, I had become a hollow husk of my former self. Fuck, what the fuck was wrong with me? I mean, I had always figured that my family would fuck me over one day. I just thought maybe they would all disown me, you know? Not fucking give me up to these psychos.

Waking up from my anesthetic dreams was the most groggiest thing I had ever experienced. I was strapped to a chair facing a mirror and I was in a white hospital gown. One of the scientists grabbed my head and I could hear buzzing, but my senses were too delayed for me to protest. They were buzzing all of my hair off, not that I was going to exactly complain about that.  My hair was thin and dying anyway, so many bald spots that I had to always wear a bun to make it actually seem like I had hair. As the anesthesia slowly began wearing off, I decided to look around to actually get an idea about where the fuck I was.

This was no inpatient care obviously, I mean, I hope not? I just really wanted a Marlboro Red right now.. or maybe some pot. No, definitely a red. One of the scientists picked me up under my shoulders and set me down on a surgical table. Wait, a fucking surgical table? What exactly were they planning on doing to me? They began strapping me down and even if I wasn't under anesthesia, I wouldn't be able to fight back. After months and months of not eating over 500 calories and purging everything, my body was left in a pathetic state.

"You must be confused. Ah, save your energy... don't even try to speak. You see, in that tube we were cleansing your body of all toxins or anything that could hinder the operation of turning you into a... pure being." Wait, what the fuck? They began hooking IVs up to my hands and arms to insure I actually survive this. What exactly was this though? Were they going to kill me? Were they some kind of cult? My mind began racing with thoughts as they injected more anesthesia into my system. Thought, they only put enough in to make me immobile. Did these sick bastards want me awake during the operation? 

I soon felt a scalpel dig into my skull as well as one dig into my stomach. The anesthesia dulled the pain only a bit, but it was enough to make me scream despite being under. It felt like years had past as they were cutting and cutting, removing some of my veins, blood, tissues, and adding things. I didn't know what they were adding but my guess was I wouldn't survive to find out. I was honestly perfectly a-okay with that. The pain was too overwhelming that I finally slipped out of consciousness, silently hoping that I was slipping into my death.

My dream, however, did not come true it seemed as I woke up on the floor in a concrete cell. I was no longer wearing the hospital gown, but instead I was... less modestly dressed. My torso was simply wrapped in a binder and my bottom half was wrapped as well it seemed, except I was only wrapped down to the upper half of my thigh. The pain was still there and I winced as I began moving around. Damn, and I had thought that shit show to be all a fuckin' dream. 

I slowly unwrapped some of the binder and stared harshly down at my stomach. There was a huge gash spanning from my pelvic bone all the way to my sternum. It wasn't like a normal surgical scar, though. The tissue was sloping downward and it was black, a sickly looking black that was even oozing black puss. My eyes stopped their roaming on my hands, or more specifically, my nails. They were black and rounded to a point, almost like acrylics. They were too real to be acrylics.

One of the scientists came in and grabbed me roughly, taking me outside to be presented in front of everyone as if I was a damn animal. I could feel something rushing inside of my blood, fueling my rage for these fuckers but I couldn't exactly tell what it was. It surely didn't feel like adrenaline or any sort of emotion.

"Behold! Test Subject Ten has survived the surgical procedure!" The scientist paused as the others applauded. "You should all be very proud of yourselves. But, that was the easy part. Next we have to focus on training." Training? My bald ass looked at the scientist roughly gripping my arm and snarled as if I were a wolf. Where did that come from? I ripped myself out of his grasp and all the other scientists gasped. My plan was to make a run for it if it wasn't for all the guards pointing their scary looking guns at me.

The guards grasped at my arms and dragged me over to what seemed like a questioning room. What was this fucking place? The other scientists gathered around the window while I was sat in an uncomfortable looking chair. This was all happening to fast, I just wanted to wake up or die or whatever. Maybe I was dead... or maybe I was dreaming? Dreams always seemed longer than they are, but they always end.

"Now, X, you will test the far expanses of your new abilities in this room. If you succeed in using them correctly, you will be rewarded." The lead scientist quickly exited the room and joined his colleagues, all of them waiting patiently for me to do something. New abilities? Is that what they did to me? Might as well get this shit show over with.

I focused my gaze on a plate in front of me and commanded it to move. However, nothing happened. I tried it again and it seemed to move just a little bit. To the right of me, all the scientists were writing down notes on their clipboards. My anger got the best of me and I seemed to lose control as the plate as well as other sets of china began pelting themselves against a wall. How dare they do this to me and then treat me as their pet? As my rage grew, the gash on my stomach began to develop this white hot searing pain that branched all over my body as if it were traveling through my veins. I scrunch my eyes together and topple onto the floor, but as quickly as the pain came, it was gone. 

The next few months were modeled around my progress controlling my abilities. I now had total control over telekinesis, particle manipulation, and basically everything that deals with the mind. The scientists weren't even sure what all I was capable of anymore. Their attitudes toward me were growing cautious instead of controlling, all of them quite afraid as to what I could do to them if I got too angry, despite me not being the murdering type. 

I voiced a complaint about the wraps I was wearing and they listened out of fear. Instead of wraps, I now sported a black body suit that covered my whole body except my nails and my head. In the room where they gave it to me, I also saw a helmet with no eye holes. It was basically just a black mask that would cover the rest of my head. What else did they have planned for me?

"Oh, X! I see you've spotted the helmet we've made for you. You see, you'll be wearing this whenever the president gives the go ahead to use the military on the streets. He wants you at the front." The scientist looked straight into my eyes as he said this. I could hear - and feel, his heart beating out of fear.

"No. I will not have a part in your fucking fanatical plans." I walked out of the room and headed straight for the unfurnished cell I called my 'room'. I sensed the scientist from a few moments ago scramble to get up and the next thing I know, he grasped both my shoulders and slammed me against the wall. My stoic face showed no signs of fear while his only showed a deranged form of lust. He grabbed the back of my head and tried to lower me as he was undoing his pants with the other. 

"Too bad we shaved your head, now I won't have anything to grab on to but the stubble." He began pushing my head towards his member. No, I was not going to blow this fucking psychopath. I expect them to use me in ways like fighting and for profit, not... sexually. The hand that had undone his belt began fondling my breasts underneath the body suit.

"Fuck, I'm not hard yet." He lifted me back up and began rubbing between my legs. The only reason I wasn't doing anything yet was because I didn't want the guards to open fire on me. His rubbing started to become painful and I was getting quite sick of it. I grabbed his throat at lightning speed and slammed him down on the ground before stomping on his chest. My bodysuit didn't have any boots that went with it, but the soles acted like shoes. Besides, my strength was enough to break all the bones in his body.

"Fuck, you're not dead yet." I said, devoid of emotion as I stared into is frightful eyes. The man began coughing up blood as I pinned him against the wall to stand him up. He stood there hunched over and cradling his ribs. I didn't like the way this made me feel, but this sicko needed to be taught a lesson. My anger got the best of me and before I knew it, his whole body imploded. Blood, appendages, organs, intestines... everywhere. I stepped back before his blood could pool around me feet. He didn't even get a chance to scream. What if he had a family? My mind began racing as I heard approaching footsteps. No, I couldn't let this happen again. I made a beeline for the directors room shut the door. I quickly began cleaning the blood off my face.

I broke open the drawers to his desk and tried to find any of my personal belongings. I found my lighter, two cigarettes, a polaroid photo of my friends and I, and my cross necklace. It wasn't much, but it was enough. I found a bag and put my belongings as well as the hospital gown I had in there before planning my escape. As I was leaving the room, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My skin was white, whiter than usual and that was saying a lot. My physique looked terrible, all you could see was my bones. My eyes were sunken in and surrounded by a dark purple. What had they done to me?

I heard the alarm go off and I knew I had to escape now. Hell, I wasn't even sure they could kill me. I had been here for five months and not once have they given me food. I shook my head free of these thoughts as I ran for the roof. I didn't dare look behind me, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing their crazed faces chasing after me.

After I got to the roof, there were a few options. I could sit here and wait, hoping to pick them off one by one. I could also jump off and hope for the best. I decided on option two. I got a running start as soon as the guards and director came out on the roof and they screamed as I jumped off, only for me to be consumed by a blinding light.

It was dark, but that was probably just because my eyes were closed.

"Hey, are you alright. Hello?" I could feel someone tapping at my cheeks and I opened my eyes only to come face to face with what looked like a purple elf. They also had red eyes and a mohawk. Interesting. "Oh, you're awake! Wow, you're an interesting looking person, huh? My name is Veryn, but everyone just calls me Very Annoying. No one actually cares to know my real name. Oh, I almost forgot! What's you're name?" He was way too exciting. Where the fuck was I?

"X," I said before sitting up and taking in my surroundings. I seemed to be in a field that overlooked a circular looking city that had a large tower in the center of it. This certainly wasn't earth and this didn't seem to be as modern as modern day earth. "Where am I exactly, Veryn?"

His red eyes widened with delight, probably because I used his actual name. "Why, miss X, you are in Cyrodiil! That down there is the Imperial City. I'm actually on my way to a priory outside of it if you're willing to join me." It wouldn't hurt to tag along with Veryn since I had absolutely no clue as to where the fuck I was. 

Our little journey lasted about an hour and our conversations were just questions about ourselves. He was apparently a dunmer from Skyrim who was captured by some guards. He then fled the prison with the help of the emperor only to have the man murdered in front of him. He probably shouldn't be telling me all of this, but he was a pretty open guy. Now he has to find some guy named Jeffrey... I think that's his name, and give him some weird amulet. What a crazy story.

I only told him what he needed to know; that I fled from bad people and mysteriously ended up here. I explained vaguely what home was like and all the technology we had there, but I didn't want to put too much wow factor in. 

We had arrived at the place he needed to be and I accompanied him inside to meet this guy. Veryn and Jauffre (I finally learned his name) talked about what had all happened with the emperor as well as the amulet. Turns out the emperor had a bastard kid. I was also a bastard child. Jauffre was apprehensive about my presence but tasked us with going to find the last heir no less. Hey, anything was better than being abused in a fucking laboratory.

"Wow, isn't this so exciting? We have to go find Martin! Wow, this is so cool." I gave a side glance to Veryn and smiled for the first time in awhile. It felt weird... but good. I thought the human side of me was gone forever, taken by those damned people. 

"Yeah, I guess it is." We had some idle chit-chat on the way to where Martin was, Kvatch or something. We finally could make out the city in the distance. By this time it was already evening, a beautiful sight after being stuck in a dark cell for half a year. However, I could make out a big giant fucking flaming gate in front of the gates to the city. There were guards hiding behind a post and little tan creatures standing in front of the gate.

"Well, fuck. What the fuck did this Jauffre guy sign us up for?" I looked at Veryn and he shrugged his shoulders, happy go lucky smile still ever present on his face.

"I'm not sure, but let's go! Come on, X, it'll be worth it! We'll be heroes!" He grabbed my hand and drug me down the hill in the direction of Kvatch. What the fuck did I get myself into?

\- Somewhere, far away -

"Is that it?" A mystified figure stood in front of a tall object that resembled a mirror. Their staff strapped to their back and clothes cleanly polished despite the area.

"Yes, I am sure of it. Would you doubt me?" Another figure appeared, seemingly female. She also had a staff strapped to her back as well as clothing that resembled something elegant mixed with horns.

"An Eluvian, it's so magnificent! Dorian, this is amazing!" The last member of the party approached, the only one without a staff. Instead, they had two daggers strapped to their back.

"Now all we have to do is figure out where it goes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, this took forever lol. Sorry if there are any mistakes I am currently sick with the flu and I have had a fever on and off for four days  
> honestly this story will probably be all over the place and I will figure it out as I go


End file.
